Do you ever have those mini-burnout moments where you are unsure just how to deal with yet another commitment or pressure? You know they don't last, and you take a deep breath and give yourself that little "you can do it" pep talk that always seems to help. But it just doesn't help as much as it used to. Probably because we all had less on our plates that we may now. Before, demands were a challenge to be met and conquered. I find myself there more often than I would like. And while I am grateful that I have made it a point to live more consciously and intentionally this year, I long for more. More strength to say no when I should.
Tell me if this sounds familiar: I am a mom, and a wife, and I love it. I love my home, and I love to take care of it. And while I am in a season of being pretty busy with little ones to take care of, I also see how quickly it passes as my eldest is now 21 years old this month. I am not in a hurry for them to grow up or get to the next stage. I really enjoy where each of them are at right now. Ask me if I feel this way next time my three year old is having a rough day, my response could be slightly different! I cannot change the need to grocery shop, do laundry or wipe down the kitchen table (again.) But I do have opportunities in my life that I can choose how I spend my time. It may be during nap time, or after the kids go to sleep at night. I am not implying that we should implement a rigorous time management schedule when we feel this way, but the opposite. To do what we have to, and let some things go. Letting go may be saying no to things we don't really want to do, or releasing negative feelings and not allowing them to rent space in our heads or hearts.
That's kind of scary to think about, letting go. I almost get a bit nervous thinking about letting go because I have lived in a world that worships "busy" for almost 42 years. I think being busy stinks, and to be honest, I would prefer to have nothing to do with it again. Not the fun busy, or the necessary busy, but the exhausting busy. The kind that leaves me resentful and tired. Spiritually drained and feeling kind of worthless. All that busy ended up getting me nowhere. Interesting.
So if I am honest with myself, and push my people-pleasing ways aside, some open space for more joy becomes suddenly available. And in the meantime, how I am going to figure out what those things are to say yes or no to, is a prayerful process of trusting and believing. You know what? I used to love being busy. I would venture to say that I may have almost been hooked on the busy fix. But it's starting to go away, and a little more quiet, and peace is taking it's place. Even while I am knee-deep in chaos and craziness most days. Seems impossible, but it's working.
I have always loved this passage, and over time I have become so thankful for the words "all things." Because they don't say "everything" or "a ton of stuff that you can't handle at the same time" but simply "all things." It means I can do what I need to, because He is the Giver of everything. Including my life and the grace to live with the freedom to say no when something is not right for me.
Sounds way better than a busy fix any day.
Thank you for your sweet comments, and encouraging words. I appreciate you so much, and pray for a fun Christmas season for you, with less stress and more peace (and fun, fun is my favorite!)